Friday, January 13, 2012

Sh*t That CEO's Say


This morning I woke up to this headline in the Globe. Good for Lululemon.

Not saying that poking fun at your target audience is a great marketing ploy – but it sure is easy!

Shit that CEO’s say (seriously):

“everything is fine”

“we. are. seriously. screwed.”

“I don’t need a consultant, I need someone to think”

“people need to stop thinking and start doing”

“seriously folks – doesn't ANYBODY here know what they're doing??! 

“what are our customers doing?"

"customers are all the same"

"our business is different"

"employees are our most important asset"

“they’re just lucky they have a job”

“it’s just getting too expensive to fire people any more”

“f—k HR! 

“we are taking this to the Board”

“do you think that anyone on the Board has any idea what they're doing?!"

“f—k the board!”

“I still like the security of the Blackberry”

“s—t, I lost my Blackberry”

“can you Google that for me?"

 "social media is a waste of time"

“what am I supposed to do with Twitter?”

“I’m on Twitter." 

"I haven’t tweeted yet.”

“f—k Twitter”

1 comment:

Rick Spence said...

What about the things that CEOs should say, but usually don't?

"I'll never get back to you on this. Ever."
"I don't understand this."
"Help me figure out what to do."
"Just calling to say I'll be home for dinner on time tonight."
"My compensation is a legitimate topic that people should know about."
"You can have a fulfilling career without being CEO. After all, most CEOs don't last very long."