Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Consultanator

Hey. I've been working out. It's fabulous. My back is so sore I can't bend over to tie my shoes. My legs are so frigging stiff I have this cool new robot walk. And my arms are so tired I have trouble scrawling my signature. As one of my very sympathetic clients said today "Jim that health thing is going to kill you".

Seriously, I'm pretty sure I'll survive and the truth is I'm enjoying it. I've never been a workout person. Genetically, I've been fortunate enough to stay pretty consistently within my weight category. Almost regardless of what I do. Beer? No problem. Nachos? Bring 'em on. Dessert? Cool. Do you have any cookies?

Of course being a reasonable weight and being the sleek fighting machine I am now are two different things. So I can't walk. I sure look like I should be able to!

So why am I doing it? I don't know. My wife was pushing me. I'd run out of excuses. I'm older and wiser now. Great genes aside, maybe eating nachos and drinking beer won't get me to 100.

So, some observations from a workout novice:

> having a trainer is good. He knows how those fancy looking machines work. He knows how to use them properly. He knows Melissa, the trainer I really wish I was working out with. Oh, and he won't let me quit on some exercise just because I fall on my face after the third push-up

> knowing how to work the machines is good. Hell, they have TV on them! Bring your ipod headphones and hear Elliot Spitzer apologize to his family. Makes you forget how much pain you're in

> picking a gym a little far from home is not so good. That's all you need on those days with 4 feet of snow. Great reason not to go to the gym.

> speedos...what can you say? Bad, bad idea for many men. Do these guys have any shame at all? Can't they see we're already in pain?

> warm towels. The BEST. Makes it all worthwhile.

So give me a couple of years. I'll either be dead or finally able to walk again. It really is great to be in shape!

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