Get a Job Already

This month my son graduates from University. So do a big bunch of his friends.

None of them (ok, maybe one - and I picked her early) have jobs. Many are graduating from decent business programs at good schools - like Queen's, McGill, Dalhousie.

None of them seems particularly perturbed about graduating without work (results from the parent survey may differ). It makes sense that there's a certain comfort (and dangerous reinforcement?) when everyone around is in the same boat.

What few seem to have, is a plan - or perhaps more accurately - a serious plan. Vague notions of 'working for my dad' (ok as a summer job, sucks upon graduation), traveling (is there any more room in Australia for Canadian students?) and going back to college to become a PR person or fashion designer seem to top the list of short term options (oh, along with "I'm just going to golf this summer and get serious in September", which is just about guaranteed to turn any dinner conversation into a lecture on walking 10 miles to and from school, naked, in the snow, uphill both ways).

Having now been forced to put some of my own brain time towards the 'what next?' question, here's some of the ideas I've come up with. Seriously.

1. Start a business. You have at least one thing going for you that you will only really appreciate 10 years from now when your kids are 2 and 4 and your $800,000 mortgage has you wishing you'd sold to Google. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. This is the only good time to start a business. And fail. And learn. And start again. And succeed. And get rich?

Oh, and one other thing. Take a look around you at the talent pool you're surrounded by. Your friends aren't losers (ok, one or two are, but they've got perfect sales personalities). Sure, it would be nice to have more experience but that's where successful, experienced moms and dads would be happy to weigh in (honey, that doesn't mean you're fat, it's just a term for helping). Seriously, I'm contemplating starting a company with your friends - you should too.

2. Build your brand - learn to lever the internet. Stef got lucky, but she got it right. Those crazy Facebook videos got her the job with Britney in New York. What's the learning?

Remember the drives to Myrtle Beach and those goofy 'South of the Border' billboard ads starting somewhere south of Buffalo and ending at that rest stop in SC? We stopped, right? That's you. And your highway.

Facebook is only one of the billboards. Times are changing. You need to get with it.

You need a blog. NEED. Then, start figuring out Flickr, YouTube, Twitter and a bunch of the others. Ever heard of Friend Connect? Linkedin? What does your Google profile say? You think you've done everything you can to get noticed? To differentiate yourself? Would you believe that you've barely started?

3. Lever your connections. Dude, as a 6 year old, you were one of the world's best networkers. Then they invented the internet. I've seen you create a date, golf game, party, dinner, card game, movie, whatever in less than 4 minutes. Getting a job may take a little longer (8 to 10 minutes) but the principles are the same. And that expensive private school you went to? I know some of those kids MUST have jobs. And really cool, important parents.

4. Get more education. I'm not a huge fan of this one (because I'm paying?), but let's face it - you've been rammed into a generation that's going to stay in school a long time given the lack of other options. If you're not going to start your own business (and get that education) going back to school will help you stay competitive (although I still find it ironic that College is the new PhD).

5. Travel. I know I dissed this one earlier but, honestly...why not? So long as 'travel' includes 'work' - as in bar tending, serving, liftie, snowboard instructor, personal trainer, dog walker. Hey, seeing the world and experiencing new stuff is great experience and if you can't get experience any other way, then you might as well take off when it doesn't matter as much.

That's all I've got. I'm sure there's more but hey, I have a job! Over to you big guy!

Dirty Follow-up

Having come to my own conclusions about how Mike Rowe, the Dirty Jobs guy rose to succeed, I might be remiss in not also pointing out he has his own secrets to success. Titled "Seven Dirty Habits of Highly Effluent People", they are:

1. Never follow your passion, but by all means bring it with you.
2. Beware of teamwork.
3. Vomit proudly and whenever necessary.
4. Be careful, but don't be fooled--safety is never first.
5. Think about what you are doing--never how.
6. Ignore advice such as "Work smart, not hard." It's dangerous--and moronic.
7. Consider quitting.

Experience suggests that there's more truth here than first meets the eye!

Down and Dirty

OK, there's no formula for personal success. But the story of Mike Rowe the Dirty Jobs guy is pretty...funny? Definitely inspiring. Certainly different. Got to give it to the guy he had a vision and made it stick...sometimes/frequently quite literally.

Fast Company has Rowe's story in last month's issue. I read it on the plane to Australia. Very carefully. "THE DIRTIEST MIND IN BUSINESS" is emblazoned across the cover of the magazine. Hey, maybe the 20 year olds beside were clear that Fast Company was a business magazine. Then, again, this part of the story, about Rowe's few minutes of fame hawking dolls on the shopping channel had me laughing out loud and feeling the need for perhaps a bit more discreteness:

Then someone handed Rowe a 2-foot nun doll named Sister Mary Margaret. "If you wound her up, she played 'Climb Every Mountain,' which I thought was hysterical." Rowe had four minutes to kill but ran out of material in 30 seconds, including the time he spent having her spank him with a ruler. Then he tried to crank up her music feature. "I've already announced that she plays music, and I'm squeezing her hand, looking around her neck, but I can't figure it out." When the technical director finally cut away to a display version of the same doll, Rowe, in desperation, turned the little sister upside down in his lap and peeled down her garment. He finally found the crank "in the small of her back, but it's really sort of in her ass." Unfortunately, the technical director cut back to Rowe without warning: "Suddenly, I see myself live on the monitor, with Sister Mary Margaret's face in my crotch, my hand on her ass, and her habit around her neck. And the damn thing is playing 'Climb Every Mountain.'" Rowe froze in horror, then made an unfortunate gesture not suitable for prime time. "It was not good."

Needless to say Rowe survived the debacle and went on to the fame and fortune (who frigging knew?) exposing people to the reality of dirty jobs. As FC puts it:

...for all the bathroom humor, his real curiosity about and respect for his subjects telegraphs a powerful message: There's dignity in hard work, expertise in unexpected places, and deep satisfaction in tackling and finishing a tough job.

Rowe's story - like so many - is inspiring in the old fashioned "maybe if you just keep working at something long enough and hard enough, ultimately something good will come of it". The guy had fun. It's also pretty clear he had a dream, never gave up, worked a hell of a lot of different opportunities, and ultimately - 'got lucky'. It's also clear he's got balls and isn't stupid.

Funny how those qualities always seem to help lucky people.